We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think your dad took our porno
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
