apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found puke in my bra..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
