Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
