you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
