i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
