how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize