i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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