real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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