FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize