Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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