Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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