my sisters under your porch take her home
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
