i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
