so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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