You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
