I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
