You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
