my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
