Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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