I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Found the puke drawer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When are your genitals available?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
