She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
