so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
