oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
