i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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