Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Never joke about your clitoris.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
