When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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