Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
