I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
