Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
