Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
