I'm eating all of the evidence.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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