dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The power of my boobs compel you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
