I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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