You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
