He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
