Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
