1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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