i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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