so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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