Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
