You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What a dumb baby whore.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
