we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
