Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
