Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
