I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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