I wannas sexs uuuuu
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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