I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
