i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
