i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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