i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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