If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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