High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
