i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
