i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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