After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
