this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
