# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
