He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
