heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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