It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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