ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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