genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
