I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
