Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
