I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
